Alan was inspired by FC United To Prevent Suicide to share his poem which he wrote a while ago.
Behind The Smile
Mental health and suicide
the things we shouldn’t say
but deep inside my troubled mind
these thoughts occur each day.
The strength it takes to carry on
is difficult to describe
instead I work and laugh and play
but wish I could just hide.
Things happen for a reason
in life, they always say
I still can’t find the meaning
despite searching every day.
A problem shared is halved
and talking is the cure
but when I try to open up
I stop, as not so sure.
The bottom of the bottle
those lonely nights in bed
another busy head at 3
another night of dread.
How can I explain these thoughts
often present in my head
to those who couldn’t comprehend
he seemed fine, but now he’s dead.
But I refuse to be another stat
of men who chose to die
who listened to the rumours
that it’s not OK to cry.
My life it has a purpose
but haven’t sussed what that is yet
still think of death on dark days
don’t worry, it’s not a threat.
I’m going to keep on fighting
to be the best that I can be
while encouraging those with demons
it’s OK to talk to me.
So get outside or just out of bed
if even for a while
and make a conscious effort
to do it with a smile.
I’m not saying it will be easy
and certainly not fun
but with friends and me beside you
we’ll get this battle won.
The following services offer confidential support from trained staff and volunteers. You can talk about anything that is troubling you, no matter how difficult:
- Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email firstname.lastname@example.org. Samaritans are there to listen 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and it’s always free to call from any landline or mobile phone.
- Call 111 to talk to NHS 24’s mental health hub.
- Call 0800 83 85 87 to talk to Breathing Space. The service is open 24 hours at weekends (6pm Friday — 6am Monday) and 6pm to 2am on weekdays (Monday — Thursday). The Breathing Space webchat is an alternative to phoning the service.
- Text “SHOUT” to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, text “YM” if you are under 19.